Amelia Tyler—who you might also recognise as the voice of Malady from Divinity: Original Sin 2—has graced us with another batch of hilarious voice bloopers this week. She has the mammoth task of voicing the narrator of Baldur’s Gate 3 which, considering how big the game’s gonna be, seems like both a privilege and some form of divine punishment.
With all those hours plugged into the recording booth, things are bound to get a little weird, and Tyler’s been gracious enough to share this fantastic recording for our collective enjoyment ahead of the game’s release next month.
In case you’re in a public space and without any headphones, I’ve selected some of my favourite quotes from Tyler’s descent into voice acting hell:
“You may know me from such things as: lying on the sofa eating cheese for several months.””Terror fuck. That’s my new death metal band.””Larian. Can we have a word about line 19?””Gale’s magic flute is ready to be played.””Pornography’s for closers.””We will reward you with some ASMR, but you are fucked now.””You can’t go scrumping for cod, Josh. That’s just weird! That’s called fishing, and you do it in the sea!””I’m going to shoot a potato out of the sky, as nature intended.”
I think perhaps my favourite of her rants, because it feels like a personal attack on me as a person, is the following public service announcement on everyone’s favourite fop of a vampire Astarion—who we’ve rendered rather beautifully on one of our magazine covers recently.
“If you fancy Astarion, you might want to consider therapy. ‘He’s so damaged, I must have him!’ Enjoy the fantasy, and then call a therapist. It’s a two-step thing, and it’s very important you do both.”
Listen, Tyler, you might be completely correct in that my attraction to an utterly disastrous pretty-boy who wants to feast on my blood is unhealthy. Yes, he might look like he couldn’t open a jar of pickles if his life depended on it, and admittedly, he does have the energy of a trash fire someone’s put a nice suit on. But you don’t understand—I can fix him.
Tyler also treated us to another bout of outtakes earlier this year, which I highly recommend. You can hear more of her work yourself—minus rants and breakdowns, probably—when Baldur’s Gate 3 releases August 3.